Please help I need your opinion on my writing?

I think you are a decent writer but you have some problems though they can easily be fixed. One thing that I noticed is that you repeat the same word multiple times (we) This by can be easily be fixed by finding synonyms. I used to have that same problem. What helps me and might help you is to read more. that way you can compare your writing to a professionals, see the differences and change your writing for the better. Hope I helped, or told you what you wanted to hear! :-D